How stupid, the bathroom

Just about everything is different on the island. Different and stupid. Like it has always been like that,  so it will continue to be like that. Like it or not, that is the way, as it has been, always, the way. Like cloakroom. You come into a house, even to this day, you step into a cloakroom, as the knights and such in their armours used to have heavy cloaks that they left in it before entering further. In my life, I have yet to see a person wearing a cloak, in normal life. But the frikkin entrance is still a cloakroom.

A-anyway, about the bathroom.

The swich of the bathroom light
It needs instructions, even if ours is a pretty nice one. Going in, reach for the weight hanging on a rope, on your right, to turn the light on. Yes, no switches, but a rope. Do not pull too hard, just a gentle tug will get you the lights and reveal the bathroom. There is a big window, on top of the sink. Do not try to open these, as they are locked. In case a burglar will climb to the second floor and try to ease through the half an A4 size window. There is no latch on the outside, so locking the frame from within is… stupid? Anyway, the sink below said window has two taps, one for ice cold and one for scolding hot. To wash your hands, you are supposed to mix the cold and the hot in the sink, wash with soap and dry in a towel. No rinsing. The taps will drip unless you use some beef closing them. The towel is almost certainly wet, as nothing dries in this place, ever. There is a towel drying rack that gets furiously hot randomly, but as it is almost always freezing, and when hot, threathens to set fire on anything within a meter, the towel is not to go on it. The hot water is only hot during certain times, when the immersion heater is on. The shower is pretty straightforward, go in, put it on. If it drips like in a caravan, go out to the hall and press the small gray switch next to the electrical plug, near the floor. This will activate the “Powershower” and you can get a decent shower. Given that you are there in the right time and the hot water immersion heater is actually on. Be mindfull that the shower temp adjusts are incredibly sensitive, extremely slow to react and subject to outside influence without any notice. I suggest that one turns the lever to 5 o´clock and going in. If there is trouble, just step out and wait. Hot water will last you a comfy 5-10 mins, but no longer. Remember to use the shower curtain, as there is no drain on the floor of the bathroom. Any water will just go through to the kitchen below, or seep on the carpet in the hallway. Using the toilet is simple, just sit and do your business. Watch the door as there is no lock, try to cope with the seat being chilly and when flushing, press down the lever for a long time, do not pump or let go from the lever as you are doing the first pressing down.  Ok, you are done. So, if you had tumbledried your towel beforehand, checked the time when to go in (that the hot water is on) and managed to do your business according to instructions, under 10 minutes or so. Also, the brits are a bit prude, so you might want to announce the going in for a session, so no-one walks in on you. Doing your business.


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